It is one day after expensive chocolate and flowers day, Valentine’s Date to be exact. I have not been writing in this blog for a very long time, mostly photos that are ifttted via my instagram or 500px accounts. How was your VD? I hope you or your partner had a condom on while you were both californicating and rocking the couch while you or your significant other’s furry and maybe scaly pet stares at the both of you.
Above sentence is true, ex’s pet was staring at us both while we caused the bed squeak and i am just slipping out of her. Remember penis loving men and women, the phallic device does come in all shapes, lenghts and girth. It is also accompanied by testicles the size of marbles you play in school or the size mount rushmore. So yes, i may be 5 feet tall but i am not 8 inches long; if you catch my drift.
When was the last time I place good old Bill became William in someone’s orifice? It has been a very long time, long enough that I have turned to literotica and practicing with my left hand. I have said this before in my previous life, erotica through the written word turns me on faster than a 16 year old girl with William in her mouth and my tomgue flicking the clitoris.
Right now it is 0255hrs and yesterday early afternoon was a literal shitty afternoon. I had been trying out pseudo meat for the past few days. Pseudo, as these fake meat is for vegetarians and the texture does feel like meat. However, eating many slices in a go does put a bad taste to the tongue. My stomach is a bitch and a turd, I expected the bombing of Nagasaki on the same day I tried pseudo meat.
No, no, no. It was a few days later when my stomach and anus made an alliance with one another to let my faeces flow like the river jordan. I can see it right there; the Shit leader at AnusGate shouting “let my people go” for many days at the guards. Until one day the stomach managed to bribe the guards of AnusGate to open the barricade and Shit Leader and the merry faeces came running out.
Unlike fornication which i like to take time (unless spouse/real significant other is on their way home), I personally do not like to waste my time on the porcelain throne. I am a drop pants, sit, hear a few plops, wipe, flush and pants up. My faster time in dropping my waste is less than 2 minutes. Yesterday was one of the longest at about an hour plus.
My legs were dying. The amount of shit that came out of me is almost equavalent to the amount of shit i spew out in my line of work. Additionally, i lost roughly 1 kilo. I do not want to have washboard abs, i want to be slightly on the heavy and huggable side. Besides, my manboobs needs to be maintained for the jealousy of women who wants to fill up their cup.
Always Keep Fighting And Never Lose Hope